azn_jack_fiend: (Default)
[personal profile] azn_jack_fiend
Title: The Last Scene of CoE Day 5 Retold in Quasi-Shakespearean Language
Author: [livejournal.com profile] azn_jack_fiend
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Rhys
Warning: The title says it all. Spoilers for everything.
Length: 430 words
Genre: Shakespearean Tragedy, Pastiche, Not Sure if This is Really Fanfic
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Summary
: The
title says it all.  I'll just note that I'd be mildly surprised if no one has thought to do this before. Or maybe someone did do it before, and decided it was too weird and depressing to publish. I'd welcome any corrections to the language, by the way.

~~~~

Six Months Later.


RHYS WILLIAMS:
We can no longer ride. Canst thou walk?

GWEN COOPER:
Foolish husband, cease thy scolding.

Enter Captain Jack Harkness.

GWEN COOPER:
Thou couldst not bear to choose a tavern for our meeting, O Captain?

RHYS WILLIAMS:
I curse the cold that freezeth my feet.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
The railing of the Welsh sounds harshly in my ears
Yet absence hath made thy railing dear.
And the sight of thee is sweet.

GWEN COOPER:
Hast thou fared well on thy journey?

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
I travell'd the land, and found it too small.  The whole world is like a graveyard.

GWEN COOPER:
'Tis our hope thou wilt return with us.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
Nor have I travell'd far enough, 
For I am over shoes i' th' mire.
I spy a ship that sails the Ion reefs
Bound for alien shores; it waits upon me. 
Anon I desire no more delight 

Than to be under sail and gone to-night.

GWEN COOPER:
I bring a prize to aid thee. They found it in the ruins, ever-during as its master, though I have ordered some small repair.

RHYS WILLIAMS:
And it cost me five shillings.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
Send me the reckoning.

GWEN COOPER:
Wilt thou return?

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
Wherefore?

GWEN COOPER:
For myself. 
And no blame be to thou, for otherwise,
All were lost.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
The truth of it? I slew my daughter's child.
Woe to the hand that shed such costly blood!
He whose loyal service I commanded,
Beloved Ianto, hath died in mine arms;
Preceding him, a multitude of souls,
Scholars, physicians, soldiers I have led,
Their deaths a heavy burden on my wretched heart.

GWEN COOPER:
But in doing, thou hast saved us all.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
If the world is but a stage, Gwen Cooper,
I played the hero's part, and lik'd it much.
So fond was I, so o'ercome with pride,
I did not see the play becoming strange
And my part become a villain.
Our revels are now ended.
The cloud-capp'd towers, the palaces of state,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve
Though I remain. I have lived so many lives;
The time is come to find another one.

GWEN COOPER:
I am full sorry, dear Captain, but thou
Must not abandon us. The coward's part
Was never thine.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
Mark me.

Exit Harkness.

RHYS WILLIAMS:
I pray thee draw homewards, sweet wife.

GWEN COOPER:
Yes. I'll weep and sigh;
And leaving so his service, must abide.

Exeunt.
~~~~
 
Notes: created using Torchwood Transcripts and Open Source Shakespeare.


Date: 2010-04-26 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heddychaa.livejournal.com
OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING BB! I loved the line about them finding his vortex manipulator. Also great use of end rhyme!

If the world is but a stage, Gwen Cooper,
I played the hero's part, and lik'd it much.
So fond was I, so o'ercome with pride,
I did not see the play becoming strange
And my part become a villain.


This was pretty much excellent.

:applause:

Date: 2010-04-26 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks! (diverts applause to Open Source Shakespeare, which is amazing)

Date: 2010-04-26 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scifiangel.livejournal.com
Truly amazing. At first it made me laugh, but his part made me tear up.

The truth of it? I slew my daughter's child.
Woe to the hand that shed such costly blood!
He whose loyal service I commanded,
Beloved Ianto, hath died in mine arms;
Preceding him, a multitude of souls,
Scholars, physicians, soldiers I have led,
Their deaths a heavy burden on my wretched heart.


Bravo!

Date: 2010-04-26 04:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks. It made me tear up a bit figuring out how to write it.

Date: 2010-04-26 11:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_lullabelle_/
This is kind of completely amazing.

Date: 2010-04-26 01:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks! Glad you liked it! It's been kicking around in my head for a while.

Date: 2010-04-26 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] songspinner9.livejournal.com
Wow! And I speak as someone who has studied Shakespeare a lot. :) Beautifully done and
without losing a single thing.

Date: 2010-04-26 04:02 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-04-26 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] specialj67.livejournal.com
Wonderful mashup of styles--I love fandom today!

Date: 2010-04-26 04:02 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-04-26 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennetj.livejournal.com
Neat! And timely, as last Friday was "Talk Like Shakespeare Day"!

Date: 2010-04-26 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
I had no idea, but thanks!

Date: 2010-04-26 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennetj.livejournal.com
In honor of Shakespeare's 446th birthday on Friday: www.talklikeshakespeare.org

Date: 2010-04-26 02:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abby-juniper.livejournal.com
Brilliant--especially appropriate as I am currently studying Much Ado About Nothing in English at the moment. :)

I especially loved this bit:
If the world is but a stage, Gwen Cooper,
I played the hero's part, and lik'd it much.
So fond was I, so o'ercome with pride,
I did not see the play becoming strange
And my part become a villain.
Our revels are now ended.
The cloud-capp'd towers, the palaces of state,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve
Though I remain. I have lived so many lives;
The time is come to find another one.


The Shakespearean (sp?) style definitely suited the tone of the scene. ;D

Date: 2010-04-26 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks! Most of the end is lifted straight from Prospero's "dream" speech in The Tempest, which is already very meta.

Date: 2010-04-26 03:03 pm (UTC)
ext_422268: (evil5)
From: [identity profile] ravenja1170.livejournal.com
tis but amazing!

Date: 2010-04-26 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
My humble thanks.

Date: 2010-04-26 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wynkat1313.livejournal.com
oh my gods I love you, I love you soooo very much! (I am a Shakespeare whore!) this is insanely great thank you!

Date: 2010-04-27 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Get thee to a nunnery! LOL. I guess Livejournal is one giant "nunnery" though, so we're already in it!

Date: 2010-04-26 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] owensheart.livejournal.com
The truth of it? I slew my daughter's child.
Woe to the hand that shed such costly blood!
He whose loyal service I commanded,
Beloved Ianto, hath died in mine arms;
Preceding him, a multitude of souls,
Scholars, physicians, soldiers I have led,
Their deaths a heavy burden on my wretched heart.

This was so beautifully written and the above paragraph so heartbreaking.

Well done

Date: 2010-04-27 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thank you very much.

Date: 2010-04-26 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwencooper08.livejournal.com
Wow !! :) Exelent,

The truth of it? I slew my daughter's child.
Woe to the hand that shed such costly blood!
He whose loyal service I commanded,
Beloved Ianto, hath died in mine arms;
Preceding him, a multitude of souls,
Scholars, physicians, soldiers I have led,
Their deaths a heavy burden on my wretched heart.

This would be a great soliloquy xx Loved It xx

Date: 2010-04-27 01:43 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-04-26 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] k-haldane.livejournal.com
Cool. this rings very nicely.

Date: 2010-04-27 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks, I appreciate that.

Date: 2010-04-27 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boysinperil.livejournal.com
Absolutely astounding. And not easy to do, says someone who has re-written the end of a few Shakespearean plays herself.

Date: 2010-04-27 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thank you! Yes, it was really labor-intensive. I'm in awe of the guy who rewrote The Big Lebowski as Shakespeare.

Date: 2010-04-27 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milady-dragon.livejournal.com
That was amazing. I just loved how that scene just seemed to lend itself to the Shakespeare treatment, especially Jack's speech about the world being a stage. I think it hits even harder written like this.

Date: 2010-04-27 04:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thank you! It seemed like a natural fit to me, because I was haunted by the idea that when Jack went rushing into Thames House without a good plan, he was flashing back to when he fought the Daleks at the Game Station. He was replaying the same role, but the circumstances had changed dramatically, because now he was a leader, not a soldier... he wasn't aware of that, and it all sort of combined to create a tragedy.

Date: 2011-02-20 06:18 pm (UTC)
lorem_ipsum: (Nine by itsarift_thing)
From: [personal profile] lorem_ipsum
Oh, I like that interpretation.

Date: 2010-04-27 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inkhand.livejournal.com
I love when my real life and fandom life collide like this... I stage managed a production of Twelfth Night earlier this year, just finished reading Othello and am finishing up a big project on it at the moment, while watching and reading Hamlet (and being VERY excited to finally watch the new RSC version tomorrow)... And along comes this!

I would spew a Shakespearean compliment back at you, but I'm in a bit too giddy of a place to make it come out right, so I'll just say that you've made this thespian very, very happy!

Date: 2010-04-28 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
I'm glad! Thank you very much!

Date: 2010-04-28 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stuffphile.livejournal.com
This is kind of brilliant. :D

Date: 2010-04-29 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2010-05-14 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redpearl-cao.livejournal.com
A little strange, as i thought it'd be; but actually quite good, which is a surprise.

Date: 2010-06-03 09:30 pm (UTC)
elisi: (Jack [eternal] by immobulus_icons)
From: [personal profile] elisi
I... can't even begin to say how much I adore this. I mean, I always thought that last scene was perfection, and yet you've made it better!

And this:

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS:
The truth of it? I slew my daughter's child.
Woe to the hand that shed such costly blood!
He whose loyal service I commanded,
Beloved Ianto, hath died in mine arms;
Preceding him, a multitude of souls,
Scholars, physicians, soldiers I have led,
Their deaths a heavy burden on my wretched heart.


Just gave me a lump in my throat all over again... So thank you!

Date: 2010-06-04 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it. I agree, the last scene hits hard.

Date: 2010-06-04 03:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joking.livejournal.com
I absolutely loved this. You have a really good grip on Shakespearean cadence. It doesn't feel like "fake Shakespeare" at all. It's also the perfect language for this scene, which is very like something out of the Bard's tragedies.

Date: 2010-06-04 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks! It seemed like such a natural fit that I'm surprised no one seems to have done it before. Surprisingly, the cadence (mainly iambic pentameter) wasn't that hard for me, but the grammar and vocabulary were really, really time-intensive.

Date: 2011-02-20 06:17 pm (UTC)
lorem_ipsum: (big damn hero Tosh by mergatrude)
From: [personal profile] lorem_ipsum
*APPLAUSE* Damn, now I want Shakespeare's version of all of Day Five.

- all of Jack's monologues here are great.

- the funny bits! yay! especially:
GWEN: I am full sorry, dear Captain, but thou
Must not abandon us. The coward's part
Was never thine.
JACK: Mark me.

- Your comment about TW+Shakespeare being a natural fit: omg, yes, I hadn't thought of that! But I have compared TW to opera, and opera and Shakespeare both hearken back to Greek tragedy, which brings to mind a sort-of apropos bit from the Oresteian trilogy... gah, I cannot find my copy... *rummage rummage* ... here:

CHORUS:
Over the beast doomed to the fire
this is the chant, scatter of wits,
frenzy and fear, hurting the heart,
song of the Furies
binding brain and blighting blood
in its stringless melody.

Date: 2011-02-24 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks for commenting, and I love that passage.

Date: 2011-05-23 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawsontl.livejournal.com
OMG, this is when I realize I've friended you and forgotten to catch up on all your fic!

BAD LAWSONTL!

GOOD FIC!

TW's so Shakespearean in the wangst and DRA!MA!, I'm amazed no one has done this before. It's also brilliant :)
Edited Date: 2011-05-23 02:18 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-05-23 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
Thanks so much :-) This is the first fic I ever wrote so I have a real soft spot for it and I'm glad people still like it when they stumble across it!
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